Wrotten

I've never felt strongly about a lot of things in my life. I put this down to my carefree and mellow personality, or maybe due to a frequently dissipating interest in certain passions of mine. When I do get worked up about an issue, it's nearly always one that many others have already trodden, and thus I feel like some kind of 'hanger on', which does nothing to maintain my attention, and so I leave the ranting and the raving to the professionals who can make better arguments than me (I have never been one for articulating). So it surprised me the other day, when watching nothing other than an unrealistic, entertaining film, that I felt so invariably worked up over what was really a minor issue.

The film in question was Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. I know all the issues people had with it, including the oft mocked final reveal, which I must confess I was one of the majority spouting about how ridiculous it was. None of the big aliens reveal really affected me, because looking back to the other chapters in the series there were ghosts, demons and ancient booby trapped mines, all of which were equally as implausible, and at the end of the day, they are films to wile away a couple of hours not historical re-enactments or educational vehicles. No, what really got me was the rather minor side story involving the tiny monkeys and the Tarzan escape scene.

If you've seen the film, and I think it's worth checking out, you'll know how this bit is set up. Mud, played by Shia Labeouf, is standing on the top of a moving vehicle in the jungle, gets distracted by something, and ends up getting whomped (Gotta love that word, it so perfectly emulates the sound) by a stray vine leaving him up in the trees. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, a horde of monkeys approaches him and he eventually catches up to the vehicle convoy by swinging on the vines and landing in one of the jeeps which are zipping alongside the edge of a cliff. Now, I can forgive this jovial and almost ridiculous side story, I understand the whole film is full of little jokes and unreal situations, but what tipped it over the edge for me was the complete lack of LOGIC to this nonsense.

Logically, if the three cars that he catches up to have been going at the same speed the whole time, where it is clearly shown that they do not ever slow down in between these two events, then there is no way in hell he could have caught up to them by simply swinging along. Not only is the speed of vine swinging much slower than the cars velocity, but that's neglecting the time he takes to sort himself out after getting stuck in the first place. Then there's the matter of whether he had the strength to be swinging along the whole time without his arms hurting. Topping it all off, the cars never once seemed to turn around even the slightest meaning that he could never have caught up with them by taking a short cut.

Okay, by now you probably think I'm an extremely pedantic moron, but would it have been so hard for the writers to have come up with a slightly more realistic way for the boy to have made it back to the convoy? Realistically, they could have opted to show the vehicles turning a long and drastic curve along the cliffside, or perhaps not having Mud get swept up into the trees in the first place. I'm thinking even being picked up by a gigantic eagle would have been more plausible, maybe even finding some of those floating treadmills they always have in platforming games, the type that speeds up your movement in a certain direction. I would even have accepted a teleportation device, but the vine swinging is such an awful decision I'm tempted to believe they came up with this at the end of the writing session, when they resorted to filling plot holes by throwing darts at a dictionary!

It's episodes like this that truly encourage me to believe that I could be a writer one day, and a successful one at that. I wouldn't let this type of shit slide in a film that was supposed to resurrect, even temporarily, a MEGA series. I can't even honestly say that I would be happy for this gaping error to be fitting for any particular genre of film, and thus I deem it shameful. Shame on whoever wrote that abysmal piece of script. If I ever find out who you are, I will hunt you out and sit you down, explaining to you EXACTLY what you did wrong and make you cry through your awful writing ability! It's lucky for you then, that I probably won't see this through, because like I said, my interest in stuff wanes rather quickly...

Inbetween

Just a quick update to keep myself assured that I will keep up with the next batch of updates.

I'm currently looking for a job in the TV industry, and so far I seem to be stumbling across a couple of good potential opportunities. Whether I get any further than the application process remains to be seen, but I will surely let you know in time if I do. What's good about this is I have a plan. It is very difficult to get a proper job without any experience whatsoever. I have very limited experience, especially to a professional, in that I've only done student TV and nothing more. I do however have a couple of work experience positions lined up for me in January, and so I feel that even if I do fail to get any of the jobs that crop up between now and February, I will almost be certain to get something off the back of the things at the beginning of next year, so as I said, I have a plan. An approximately 6 month plan, but still a plan nonetheless.

Also should be working on Uncovered, and I really want to get this done soon, but my PC still has the incredibly irritating problem that it doesn't want to play any audio without accompanying it with a horrific scratching sound that does nothing to quell torrents of unholy rage that comes from its irritation.